Valentines day

[mein gott]

Quote: Originally Posted by Morgenroete

no all I got was Chlamydia. I'll file that under "things to suprise my next girlfriend with"

so early?.. well scrape it off with a knife and put it on a cracker and offer it to her, tell her its some strange cheese.. paybacks a bitch

[Jonny Automatic]

who'da thunk you am so evil mr goat

[Hockehtron]

"valentines is a hallmark holiday, a way to get more money on a random day!" - my teacher

[Morgenroete]

Valentines Day is a hoax created by the Evil Mall Santa Claus Confederation.
It works like this.

1. The more kids who sit on Santa's lap in the mall the more money he makes.
2. You happen to meet your friend, who is taking their kid to the mall Santa, she happens to bring her girlfriend with her.
3. You become friends with the new girl you go to some Christmas party with her and she gives you the oh-so-sly "wana fuck?" look and you hook up.
4. Valentines day causes more unexpected pregnancies then any other day. 2 months in with your new girlfriend and your first valentines day together, it will be to say the least memorable.
5. 9 months later many babies are born in October.
6. Monthly demographic reports come in stating how many babies were born, this results in the higher demand for Santas come December and the chances for mall Santa hook ups increase.
7. You take your kid to the mall with a friend she then meets some dude you know.
8. The cycle repeats

This is how Christmas and Valentines Day are in cahoots. We are on the road to Globalization by Santa Claus!