granted but wen you hugged your mother, she got lasered

i wish i didnt have to do so much projects

Granted, but then your boring life will consume you and you’ll wither away and vanish.

I wish I overdosed on painkillers and slept all Tuesday!

granted but it caused massive brain damage and now you can't love the left side of your body.

I think corrupting my wish was also his wish :p

Granted, but now you have sooooo much free time that you have no idea what to do with it :p

I wish my painkillers worked!

(I think she'd find something to do in that time with another someone ;) )

no wishes? fine ill grant his wish

granted your painkillers work but they suck :(

i wish i had a horsey O.o

sorry sorry i forgot my wish = P

granted you know what you did wrong, but now you dont know whats right and you make a group of very perverse men very happy.

i wish i didnt fuck up my mate today...

Ho ho ho.
 

Granted.

Alas, now you're saying:

I wish the Piat would blow the middle building into rubble on Avalanche.

granted but piat was banned from avalanche :O

i wish i didnt have this major cold *sniff*

granted, but you get so turned on by what their saying you go next door and join them... they turn out to be 82 and 79 years old...

I wish for a magic bong

Granted but you accidently touch your self and you turn into gold, then the floor beneath you breaks due to all the weight and you fall into a gold smelting factory. You then melt down in an inferno of fire and bling. You are then stamped out into 1000s of cheap gold rings to be worn by 1000s of coochie-mamas. Your rings are scattered to the 4 winds where they cause pain and suffering. All but the one master ring... the one ring lays in the hands of a hobbit known ad Bilbo Baggins... did I mention that hobbits are gay? As Sam saunters over to Frodo in Return of the King he uses the magical power of the one master krissi ring to alter the frabic of reality where pokemon and mario cart are every day occurances in the world... any1 have a spare blue turtle shell? After stuffing the Master Krissi ring into a pokeball and ridding bowser's kart to the mountain of which I forget the name they toss the damned ring into its' depths while saying "Cursed Master Krissi Ring.... Burn and be-gone to never harm middle-mario-pokemon-world-earth-land ever again..."

...

I wish I had a Girlfriend.

granted, but your new girlfriend gives you herpes

i wish i had a urinal next to my pc, heck, i'd even take a drain on the floor.. that would be sweet too

;d
 

Granted. Unfortunately through a freak accident involving Dr. Pepper, whips, and rotted cabbage you go blind and become a quadrapelegic.

I wish I had been born a Russian.

granted but you had to be like invisible women, naked to be invisible :P

i wish we had more school off on winter vacation

granted, you now only go to school for one week a year, during which time is exam time, and you fail miserably due to lack of knowlege

I wish the hacks I gave to velocity wouldnt work so well :/

granted so he asked krissy for her hax and he owned everyone :)

i wish it wasnte 12:00 am

granted, the time now is 12:32AM during those lost 32 minutes aliens abducted you and "vigirously" anal probed you with the "Black Anaconda 5000" *The largest Black dildo known to man* you wake up in a daze wearing a pearl necklace.

I wish for a chainsaw bayonet like in gears of war.
http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20061027

granted but there were no batteries :O

i wish it was snowing

ok but i dont no really wat a puter is so ill jus throw anything at you O.o

granted but you were so tired you fell asleep on the sidewalk and got raped O.o

i wish i knew what puter was

my god man.

granted you figure out it means computer, you then proceed to hit yourself with 1 till you fall over and start twitching.

i wish for peace on earth. *if any1 remembers a certain x-files show...*

i dont watch x-files but
granted, once you get peace on earth all cars and electronics games were banned to stop pollution and stop the influence of killing people ex. DoD and GTA O.o

i wish i didnt write that much O.o

granted you stop writing and go out to smell the roses... you are then stung to death by one thousand bees.

I wish for a life sized version of lady red to munch on ^^

granted but she was unhealthy and caused you to die O.o (sry lady red)

i wish it was christmas

Granted, its come and gone and the christmas miracle never happened. A dark cloud falls over noobish and he turns gay for attention.

I wish my mom didn't come home tonight and house *aka fortress of ultimate pwnage* would still be mine.

granted but you need to be fed and you die in a supermarket b/c you didnt no how to buy stuff. XD

i wish i had more winter vacation

Granted, I send you 6 months into the futur instantly. You trip on a seashell and break you neck.

I wish for a giant never ending orange slushie.

Granted, you get a never ending orange slushie, which quickly freezes the straw to your lips and you are forever left with permanent brain freeze.

I wish for an uncorruptable wish.

granted but its too uncorruptable that this thread gets too boring

i wish i didn't have this annoying wedgie