3rd grade

[craig.gates]

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her
students.
The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the
3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade
too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would
give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to
go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed ! to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader
should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such! a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy,oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a
lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
"Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......"

[The Punisher]

god....why did i read all that

[craig.gates]

Quote: Originally Posted by The Punisher

god....why did i read all that

You cant read......you lie

[Jonny Automatic]

lol firetruck

[mein gott]

lol.. ermmm yeah lol... (that was canned lol)

anyways heres some joke.. i make no apologies

A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps
So the doctor examines her and does some tests and says "you're going to have to looking forward to the idea of long sleepless nights full of crying and changing napies"
"Why? Am I Pregnant?"
"no" the doctor replies, you've got bowel cancer


A vicar is on a train and this pregnant woman gets on and sits down opposite him.
As they travel the vicar is reading his newspaper and the woman takes out her knitting.
As she is knitting, about every 20 minutes she reaches into her bag and pulls out a bottle of pills from which she takes one and swallows it.
This goes on for about an hour when the vicar sees the label "Thalidomide" on the bottle.
"Excuse me", says the vicar to the woman, "Do you know the effect that could have on your unborn child?"
"Yes" says the woman "I never could knit sleeves."


paedophile and a kid are walking into the woods at night.
the kid turns to the paedophile and says "it's dark! I'm scared!".
the paedophile says "YOU'RE scared? I've got to walk back out on my own!"

[HAWKEYE]

lol

[Jonny Automatic]

lol trust gott

[The Punisher]

Quote: Originally Posted by mein gott

lol..
anyways heres some joke.. i make no apologies



paedophile and a kid are walking into the woods at night.
the kid turns to the paedophile and says "it's dark! I'm scared!".
the paedophile says "YOU'RE scared? I've got to walk back out on my own!"

LMAO.

[diamond-optic]

lol

[buck_futter]

meh..